Conflict
Resolution
Sunday, September 20,
2009
Rev. Janice Palm
James 3: 13-4:3. 7a, 8a; Mark 9:30-37
When you consider
folks who are wise, who do you think of? In the public panorama of
people who comes to mind for you? Dag Hammarskjöld, Albert
Schweitzer, Gandhi, King Solomon, Desmond Tutu, Mandela, Abraham
Lincoln, Bishop Hassinger, Benjamin Franklin. Who comes to mind for
you?
(Long pause.)
Whether you answered aloud or not: now, why is it that
you think of this person or these people as wise? They make good
decisions; they are thoughtful, they see something wrong and correct
it. Why is it that you consider them wise?
(Long pause again.)
I thought of Dag Hammarskjöld immediately – the head of
the UN for some time and then the author of Markings. I think
he came to mind because he was one of the first UN leaders I really
became aware of. He must have been smart to become the head of an
international organization. He must have made good decisions in
order to be considered for the post. And as head of the UN in
turbulent times, the decisions he made while chairing the
international organization must have had to have been wise ones.
Finally, what I really was impressed by were the thoughtful
articulations on living life that came through in his
writings.
When you consider people you know or have known, who
are wise folks among them? Who comes to mind for you now?
Wendy Wright, in an article called Wisdom of the
Mothers, writes of three female mystics: Catherine of Siena,
Gertrude of Great, and Julian of Norwich. But she begins her article
by remembering her grandmother May; Gunga was what she was really
known by. Gunga was actually her father’s step mother. She was, as
Wendy remembered “a member of the Eastern star, a pillowy,
white-haired grandma who excelled in cake decorating and china
painting and whose only deviation from archetypal grandmotherhood
was her modest, routinized habit of going once a month to the
racetrack near her Rosemead, California home to place a five dollar
bet on a maximum of two races. Wendy says, “I don’t know how she did
it but Gunga’s horse always seemed to place.” She was remembered for
her warmth, the sweet dry fragrance of talcum powder …, her infinite
patience, her delight in my childish accomplishments.”
When I think of someone in my life, I think of my
father as a wise person. I believe I have spoken about him before.
For the most part, he was a quiet person. I always knew or at least
imagined that he did very important research at his place of work.
He had the patience of Job. He knew how to relax. And when asked for
advice or a question, his replies were thoughtful. In leadership
roles, he was known for his equanimity; he was known for trying to
come to conclusions by bringing differing parties to agreement. Even
as he was dying, his focus was outward, he would ask about others he
knew: the one in particular who was very ill with brain cancer. He
recalled with me our shared fondness for the Desiderata. He spoke of
how he tried to live by that and hoped that I, too, would remember
it. “Go placidly amid the noise & haste, & remember what
peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly &
clearly; and listen to others….” It begins. He did try to live his
life that way.
Who is wise among us? Often with issues related to
church, we misplace our responsibilities and act as if the pastor or
the paid staff has the answers, have the maturity, know in what
direction to go or will take care of it..
Last week we heard about Wisdom from Proverbs. The
reading began: Wisdom cries out in the street, in the squares she
raises her voice. I spoke last week of how Wisdom became
personified. Many chapters later, we hear Proverbs describe a
capable wife. Again, wisdom is described as a woman. She is a woman
of strength, a wife who is industrious, energetic, compassionate,
and creative.
James, the letter of James is considered by many not so
much a letter but Wisdom literature along the same lines as
Proverbs. Who is wise and understanding among you? James asks us.
James says, show by your good life that your works are done with
gentleness born of wisdom. It is how a life is lived that one knows
who is wise. James is saying God-given wisdom is in the lived lives
of those who are peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy
and good fruits. Ones who are wise aren’t those who just bring forth
the right words or aphorisms. They aren’t necessarily the
industrious, energetic. They are gentle, humble – not namby-pamby
but gentle. They listen. They are not caught up in “this way or I’m
outa here” attitude. There is no partiality in a wise person. Full
of mercy, they are. Do we know anyone like that?
This describes a life not driven by ego, a life not
grasping/reaching for more or envious of what the other has. How
hard to find such a one in our culture that moves us/nurtures us to
want more. But, I believe, we can think of folks among us who might
fit the bill – those who are wise, who are content, thankful for all
the many gifts of God given, them. They are the ones who reverse the
natural movement of bringing full hands towards ourselves.
Oftentimes it’s hard to be aware of our envy when we
are able to have so much, so many choices, and when we think of
something we desire and lo! It’s before us or put within our easy
grasp.
So what is it that keeps us from being wise? And in the
words of James, keeps us from being gentle, content, peace filled?
James refers to it as earthly wisdom rather than wisdom from above.
James says, “It’s that one thing we don’t have immediately.” It
might something tangible; it might be power, status, a partner, a
driver’s license, car. It might be being right or knowing the
answer. It’s the one thing that we have to wait for – graduation,
diploma, an IPod, signing on for facebook, the job, that camp in the
Adirondacks, the trip to Casa Blanca. It’s that one thing that
dangles before us in our minds and says, “You need me.”
I play with Ms. Molly, the cat, hoping that she will
take me up on that kind of thinking. Her desires unlike most of ours
though lay in wiggling do-dads and moving pieces of strings and
ribbon bouncing up and down before her, enticing her to paw and
grasp after the unattainable teases.
So what keeps us from being wise? Keeps us from being
gentle, content?
There were times last week when I was an absolute
grump. I warned Nan of that one morning – actually before I came
into the office. And once I was here and saw her, I reminded her
that I was out of sorts. Just in case I should come out with
something unexpected, I didn’t want Nan taken off guard.
I wanted something really badly – actually I had been
waiting for over a week and it just wasn’t happening on the schedule
or in the way I thought it should; I wanted the right time and space
to talk over issues. NOW! And so everything that happened with this
individual seemed to tease and irritate me. I wanted it fixed
immediately. I had no patience at all; I was afraid that my
impatience in one area would spill over into other areas of my day.
James describes what keeps us from being wise and at
peace with our own selves and with one another are: our desires, our
desires to have, our desires to be satisfied now, our desires to
possess whether it be material kinds of things, a role in life, or
being the winner. And when our desire is carried to extreme – we
steal, we kill, and we go broke. At the least, we live in disharmony
and contention and disconnection. Just this last week in Troy a
young woman was found guilty of murder because eventually she
admitted to it and because enough people believed that if she could
not have her boyfriend then she would make it so no one could have
him. Within the home, our paycheck barely makes it on the bank’s
deposit slip before it’s spent. We need to be two salary families.
We are pulled away, both parents; how can we possibly have the
energy any more to nurture our families? We have become families
providing every single extracurricular opportunity that’s out there
for our children, we are run ragged bussing children from one
activity to another because … because it’ll look good for the right
college and because we know our neighbor is doing it. Several AP
courses are becoming a norm at the expense of a child’s having fun
and a family having time together.
What keeps us from being wise? Wise with a wisdom from
above and not an earthly sort? You name it.
(Pause.)
I’ve been talking about our wants and desires. What
does God want?
I shared earlier how Wendy Wright lifted up her
grandmother Gunga as a wise woman. One of the things her Gunga
offered her granddaughter was a Bible. It was inscribed with these
words: From Gunga to Wendy, Easter Sunday, 1955. In all thy ways
acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:6. Wendy
didn’t necessarily know what shaped her Gunga’s inner life but for
Wendy those inscribed words were a blessing given. Those words were
what helped shape her to become the person she became; perhaps, too,
those words from her grandmother Gunga helped shape her to become
the theologian she became. In all your ways acknowledge God and God
will direct your paths.
For James, the question becomes: who will be our
authority? Our scripture reading skips over this part that says God
is yearning and searching for the human spirit that mirrors God’s
own image. So, draw near to God. That is what Gods wants: that we be
near to God. In doing so we are throwing off the power that earthly
wisdom and divisive desires have over us. Draw near to God and the
wars and conflicts we have because we want this or that, and we want
it now, and the things that eat at us - they are put in their
place.
What would life look like if we lived in God’s wisdom?
Worship leadership would not be just paid staff; it would be shared
among many. Stewardship would not be a season of pledging but would
be a yearlong – a life long attitude – a spiritual discipline that
spills over into not just how we take care of money but how we take
care of the earth and one another. Prayer would not be selfish,
asking for the things that feed our desires, but instead prayer
would seek the fruits that would meet the needs of all. Peacemaking
and social justice outreach would be the way to address the earthly
wisdom that drives our society and us and surrounds our lives.
Our primary identity would be measured by our closeness
to God rather than what we possessed.
So there it is my friends – a wise person: one whose
primary identity is measured by a closeness to God. A wise person is
one who remembers his or her baptism!.
